7 Winning First Date Secrets for Senior Dating

You are 50 and you are still searching for your so called true love. Hate to watch your life pass you by like this… By all means, indulge in senior dating!

It's been years or decades since your last date? Even if you wanted to return into the dating scene, you're fearful that you have already lost your dating touch. And wondering how much the dating etiquette has had already progressed? Sit back and relax. Regain your dating prowess as you had in your teens back then. Read on to acquire these winning secrets on how to make senior dating lesser of a pressure and more of a pleasurable activity.

1. Care for a second serving? The decision to get into the scene of dating is the one of the goals in getting into a first date. And how else can you accomplish that but to plan a date that would ensure lots of conversation, right? This is the opportunity for you to get to know each other more. Senior dating is definitely no different from younger dating since the "guidelines" don't differ that much. On a first date, it will be wise to avoid activities that will just leave you sitting mummed in the dark, i.e., watching a movie or a play. Senior dating does not spare anyone on the stress of groping in the dark if a first date became full of dead air.

2. Bringing out the best from both. It is imperative that you consider activities that you think will be of your same interest. A hobby or a shared value built into your first date will not only minimize the pressure on the two of you but will also draw out the best in you. In senior dating, regardless of how long you've forsaken your throne already, you will be given a head start if you do your homework. Whether you ask your date regarding what her interests or hobbies beforehand or research through common friends to surprise her with such activity. If you're really into it, there'll be no way of stopping you to make this first date a good one.

3. Wonderful lunch dates. Taking into consideration of senior dating and choosing lunch over dinner for some health reasons is just a loser's thought. A first date during senior dating, just like teen dating, will be more enjoyable if done during daytime when more activities are available for the both of you to enjoy. It's just that intimate ambience that a dinner date conjures that makes a first date more of an anxiety-inducing bustle than an easy feat.

4. If going on senior dating just put you in a nerve-wracking jumbled mood, consider the ever trusty group dates with friends. This will not only minimize the pressure of coming up with an in-synch convo but will also be more of an opportunity to see how you two interact with others. A charity auction or playing a sport that you and your group both agree to will do.

5. Rock and roll or take a stroll. No, it's not about going to rock n' roll concerts. Dance parties are good first date alternatives if you are not really a lunch-date person. After an exhausting boogie-ing evening, those first date stress will already be relieved by then. Taking a stroll after the dance date will give you more time to get acquainted more of each other.

6. Senior dating doesn't mean that you have to be pressured to doing everything to the extent of straining yourself just to hit it off. How? Expand your realm of senior dating beyond those common wine tasting or book searching generic first date activities. Markets or malls are excellent for not only giving you time to gauge whether you're of the same wavelength but may also give you an excuse if you didn't. This is not about giving you negative vibes regarding your first date on senior dating but to prepare you for the possibilities of a not-so successful one or some kind of a way of getting a glimpse of the worst scenario.

7. Choose: graceful or not. First dates often meant not necessarily be knowing the person that much. If ever something comes up or simply you felt that you're not comfortable with your date, leave. It's better to be safe than be sorry.

Don't just keep on telling yourself that you've been there and done that. Just keep an open mind and remember that you're involving yourself with senior dating to have a good time. The first date is not an exception. Therefore, use these senior dating secrets whenever you can.

The Danger, Safety Tips, and Ideas for Great Teen Online Dating

If you're a teen between the age of 13 to 19, teen online dating sites can provide a lot of services. While some of these services can be the best thing to hit the teen online dating arena, keep in mind it can also be the worst online situation.

This also brings to mind all of the dangers involved with teen online dating. Keep in mind that even though dangers are involved with teen online dating there are also very good things that come out of teen online dating.

What Are Some of the Dangers of Teen Online Dating?

Many times violence is after a break up in a relationship that was not previously violent. It is estimated that more 10 percent of teens nationwide are in a  dating violence situation. Because of a teen’s age and inexperience it may be harder than adults to recognize the warning signs of abuse.Teens often also misinterpret warning signs of dating violence which includes jealousy, possessiveness, and sexual pressure as signs of love rather than warnings signs of abuse.

Messages can be confusing for teens especially. It is common for teenage victims of dating violence and abuse to keep the problem from their parents. They fear if they tell the parents, the parents will demand a separation. Most teenage victims of dating abuse do not want this to happen.

This has helped teens to see the warning signs of  dating violence and abuse. It is not always the girls who are being abused in teen dating relationships. Females are more likely to be the victims of teen dating violence, but they also can be the perpetrators.

Safety Tips for Teen Online Dating

Teen dating whether online or off is very popular these days not limiting to adults only, but younger generation and teenagers are also involved into it. Teen dating is considered as important part in the life. Teen dating is a time of social experimentation for teenagers. 

Teen online dating can be fun if you are aware of its pros and cons and are also aware of the ways to prevent that. Teen online dating should be a memorable experience not a horrifying one.

Teen online dating is very famous these days because of its convenience and advantages. The first and foremost advantage from teen online dating is that you can contact matches without revealing your real identity avoiding the embarrassment if doesn't work out. Teen online dating is a time to learn about person's qualities and attributes through the conversation.

Ideas for Great Teen Dates

A few ideas for great teen dates that are low pressure, encourage interaction, and have the potential for a great time:

El Cheapo
Give your date a limited amount of money to spend on your outfit.

Wild West
Send out a “warrant” for your date’s arrest, listing the time and date they will be “arrested.” Before picking up your date, dress in western clothing, remembering to bring some for your date (you may want to include a fake gun). You could also blindfold your date. Afterwards, try bowling handcuffed.

Wet n’ Wild
If you are anywhere near a body of water, renting canoes can be a lot of fun.

Service with a Smile
For the teen who is on a tight budget, volunteering at local homeless shelters, libraries, boys and girls club, nursing homes, the YMCA, handicap service providers, food banks, or a soup kitchen can be a lot of fun and very rewarding.
5 Questions To Ask An Online Date  

Online dating services are on the rise, especially special feature websites, like teen online dating, gay online dating, and senior online dating. Cyber stalking is up 55% in the last two years, and meeting someone on the outside after meeting them online in a chat room or through an online dating service can be risky business.

- Some questions for online dating tips.

* What is the biggest mistake people make when first dating?
* Define a truly successful relationship.
* What happened with your last relationship? (Again, listen for blaming. If they're willing to share equally, great, if they take all of the blame they probably have low self esteem and are needy.
* What do you really think about online dating services?

Making The Most of A Blind Date

In many ways blind dating is no different than any other type of dating. The basic elements of dating still exist but you do need to exercise more caution in a blind date. Like any other date you want a blind date to go well so that you can ensure yourself a second date. However, while it is important to exercise caution in all types of dating it's even more important in blind dating. Another factor unique to blind dating is getting set up with a great date. While this may not always be in your hands there are some ways that you can take some initiative in this area.

Like any date the key to a blind date is setting yourself up for a second date. Arranging a fun date and being interesting to your date are two keys to achieving a second date. In making conversation on a blind date, it is important to take an interest in what your date has to say. Doing this will let them know that you are interested in getting to know them better. Also, try speaking about subjects that you really enjoy. This will make you not only sound more natural but will also make you sound more interesting.

Dressing to impress is also critical to a blind date. In meeting someone for the first time you will want to ensure that you make a good first impression. You don't always know how much a blind date already knows about you but it doesn't hurt to show up for the date looking as though you have put a great deal of effort into your appearance. You're date will appreciate the effort and be flattered by your going out of your way to impress them.

One key factor to blind dating is to exercise caution in meeting your date. Even if you are being set up by a close friend you can't be positive that they know the person they are setting you up with very well. It's best to set up an initial meeting in a well lit and populated location. Never agree to meet someone you don't know at a secluded location. While your blind date may be a wonderful person with no intentions of hurting you, it's best to exercise caution on a blind date.

Another factor unique to the blind dating situation is getting yourself set up with a great date. You may have several friends that are interested in setting you up with a friend or relative whom they think is just perfect for you but try not to agree to go on a blind date that is set up by someone who doesn't know you very well. If they don't know you well, then don't trust them to choose a date for you. However, if you have a friend who does know you very well, don't hesitate to drop hints about what you are looking for in a date. Those who know you best are most likely to set you up with a compatible blind date.

Making an honest effort to have a good time on your date is another tip that can lead to a successful blind date. If you go into a blind date with the attitude that things won't work out, you will most likely unconsciously put a damper on the date. Your date may sense your lack of enthusiasm and in turn won't be inspired to put an effort into having a good time either.

Another tip for blind dating is to be sure to end the date appropriately. Many people may recommend that when going on a blind date you have a backup plan in place such as having a friend call you shortly after the date starts to give you an excuse to leave if things aren't going well but doing this just isn't right. Instead extend your blind date the same common courtesy that you would any other date and be willing to complete the entire date. If neither party is having a good time, it's acceptable to end the date early and just agree that you weren't compatible but don't be too quick to give up on the date. Also, at the conclusion of the date be honest about your feelings towards your date. If things just didn't work out, don't be afraid to let them know instead of offering empty promises of future dates. However, if you truly enjoyed your date, let your partner know and take the opportunity to suggest a second date.

Bringing a friend along is another tip for blind dating. This is helpful for a couple of reasons. First if your blind date had any malicious intentions towards you, having a friend along is likely to spoil his plan. Secondly a friend may be able to ease the tension and break the ice by getting the conversation started. While the addition of an extra person on a date may seem awkward, having them there can provide emotional spirit and an additional comfort level.

Even if the date is going well, another tip for blind dating is to end the date after 2-3 hours. This is an adequate amount of time for two people to get to know each other on a date and determine whether or not they would be interested in a second date. Blind dates that last longer than this often reach a point where the couple runs out of things to talk about and the date can stagnate leaving a negative feeling at the end of the date. Keeping the date short can help you to end the date on a positive note and will leave you with more to talk about on a second date.

Being yourself is important on any date but it's critical on a blind date. A blind date deals with someone who does not know you so it's important to give them a true sense of yourself on your date. You may get away with pretending to be something you are not on the first date but it may lead to trouble in future dates as your date realizes you were phoney on the first date.

Finally, treat your blind date with the same courtesy that you would any other date. You may not know the person you are dating but it is important to arrive on time, be polite and put an honest effort into the date. Your blind date is just as deserving of these courtesies as any other person you have dated. A blind date is no excuse to let your manners lapse and mistreat your date.

For the most part blind dating does not differ from any other dating situation. However, there are a few things unique to blind dating of which you should be aware. Most importantly it is critical that you not put yourself in danger by agreeing to meet a blind date in a secluded location. Another unique aspect of the blind date is that you are often set up by a friend or family member so you have the opportunity to learn what they think would be a suitable match for you. Beyond the specifics related to blind dating, the rules of regular dating still hold true. If you are polite, genuine, fun and interested in your date you will be likely to score a second date.

Asking for a Date

Whether a date's spontaneous or planned, the first or the last date, or you're young or old, sooner or later, going out with someone comes to this: Somebody has to ask for the date.

No matter how much or how little you plan (and regardless of your reputation, your Aunt Sylvia, the knot in your stomach, the advice of your friends, your New Year's resolution, or your success with dating or lack thereof) nobody, with the possible exception of Adam, ever made a date without asking for it. I bet that even with God as the go-between, sooner or later Eve expected Adam to pony up and find the courage to ask if they could take a walk in Paradise, and if he didn't, well, it explains a lot about the snake, don't you think?

Face it, the only thing scarier than the first date is asking for the first date. But if you can remember that you're not looking for a cure for cancer, that you won't die even if he or she says "yes," and that life as we know it will continue no matter what your potential date's response, you may relax enough to actually (gulp) ask for a date.

Gazillions of perfectly normal (and lots of less than normal) people have all gotten nervous about asking for a date. You and I and everybody else are connected to a long line of sweating, nervous, stuttering, tongue-tied souls, and even the slick ones feel anxious on the inside about asking for a date. Do you feel better? No? Well, I was afraid of that. Never fear - in this chapter, I tell you some things that should comfort you in the asking, help you in the consummation, and protect you from any possible devastation beyond a teensy pinch on the ego.

Risking Rejection

The First Rule to asking for a date is this: No guts, no glory. The worst-case scenario is that the prospective date says no. At that point, you're no worse off than you are at this very moment.

Rejection is definitely not fun, but a rejection is only one person's opinion of you. You don't like everyone, and not everyone is going to like you. If someone says no, then he or she misses out on getting to know how truly terrific you are.

Rejection can be the beginning of opportunity. Scads of hugely successful people just wouldn't take no for an answer. Think about Fred Astaire: When he first went to Hollywood, a talent scout wrote, "Big ears, too skinny, big nose, can dance a little." Many famous beauties and stars in many fields had to cope with someone's negative opinion of them - nobody hasn't faced rejection.

The question is: Are you going to let it get you down? Of course not! Alexander the Great probably conquered the world by the age of 30 because some shortsighted lass turned him down - maybe because he was too intense or short or something. Maybe that rejection made him want to make more than most

Grecians earn. (It's a pun; say it out loud - but definitely don't use it until the fourth or fifth date or after you're married or your last kid leaves for college or your hearing has gone.)

Rejection means that that person says no but not that everyone will. You need to realize when no is no, when someone's showing absolutely no interest. If someone consistently says no when you ask for a date, it's okay to say, "Look, I hear that you're not interested, and I don't want to be a pest. If you ever change your mind, here's my number," or "I'll call you in a year," but then for heaven's sake, don't call any sooner than that. With time, the sting really does go away.

Conversely, if you really don't want to go out with someone, don't say, "Maybe" or "Call me next week." Just say, "Thank you for asking, but it's just not possible." Remember that the world is a very small place. You may change your mind, or that person you turn down may marry your best friend or be in a position to hire you someday. There is no reason to ever hurt someone whose only sin is being interested in you, so be gentle but firm.

Rejection isn't gender specific. It's not any easier for guys to face rejection than it is for women. We've just programmed men for power, and asking someone out is boss, even if the whole experience is tinged with fear. Either sex can feel more powerful by taking the initiative and asking someone out.

A brush-off with style

The coolest rejection I ever got was from a guy who told me that he'd just gotten a call from an old girlfriend. He said, "She's reemerged in my life, and I need to see where it goes. I'll either marry her and invite you to the wedding, or I'd like to finally put it to rest. No matter what happens, I'd like to be able to call you." Cool, huh?

Biology has nothing to do with the ability to tolerate possible rejection. Women, if you've never asked a guy out, you should do it for your own liberal education. Guys love it. However, they may think you're hotter to trot (sexually) than you really are, so take that into consideration.

If you're afraid of rejection, you may miss out on a lot in this life, which is pretty darned short as it is. See if you can put that angst away, take the chip off your shoulder, and go for it.

Improving Your Odds

When asking for a date, having a plan is crucial, but you've got to stay a little loose. The more structured you are, the more dependent you are on meshing well with a stranger. Therefore, you need to read the signs, stay loose, and keep things light, flexible, and open. You can seriously improve the chances of getting a yes if you keep these tips in mind when you ask for a date.

Never ask for a first date for a Friday or Saturday night

These two main, big, serious date nights are too important a place to start. Asking for a first date on a Friday or Saturday is like playing at Wimbledon without a tennis lesson or having ever played on grass or at all. Even people who don't have dates and haven't had one for ages are often loathe to admit their plight to a stranger (and if you haven't had a first date, you're still strangers).

Start off with a Wednesday or Thursday night, which are nights when people generally don't have much planned. Also avoid Mondays like the plague. Everybody hates Mondays.

Never say, "Would you like to go out sometime?"

If you phrase the invitation like this and the askee says "no," you've left yourself absolutely no out except to be swallowed up by a prayed-for earthquake.

If the person says "yes," you still have to ask him or her out. Yikes. Instead, be specific. It's much better to say, "I'd love to see the new exhibit at the museum. Any interest in going either Wednesday or Thursday?" You offer a specific opportunity (as well as alternative days) and at the same time, you give your potential date a great deal of room in which to negotiate without sounding wishy-washy or desperate. Giving specifics also allows your potential date a couple of seconds to think about it, rather than getting caught completely off guard.

Always offer options about the date

Options can include the day, time, activity, and transportation. Options make you sound organized without being bossy or rigid, as long as you keep them limited. Offering a few choices at the outset makes you sound less panicky than you would if you were to offer them after the potential date says no to your initial suggestion.

If you're specific about the date and your potential date doesn't like the suggested activity but does like you, you can modify your plan.

Also, although a plan with several separate possibilities requires more work on your part, it offers a better chance of success - and a chance to figure out whether your potential date has any interest in you. After all, if you've offered all options regarding place, time, date, activity, and so on and the answer is still no, the problem is as clear as the writing on the wall, and you've hit the wall. Take a deep breath and move on. It's not the end of the world, just this potential date. Scary but efficient.

By offering to meet there, go in separate cars, or pick her up, you instantly show yourself to be considerate, capable, and sensitive to the fact that females have heard horror stories about being abducted by a date and never seen again.Although you're not Jack the Ripper, understanding that she may feel a little uneasy about being in a car with a stranger makes you a liberated and cool guy for thinking like a modern woman. You will score major points.

In the initial stages of dating, people sometimes want so much to be liked that they agree to things at the expense of their integrity. If your potential date has enough sense to say, "I'd love to do something with you, just not mud wrestling," then give that person a gold star. Don't be offended - be pleased. You have just found someone with brains, courage, and honesty.

Remember that timing is everything

Don't ask for tomorrow or next year. A basic rule is to ask for a first date a week to ten days in advance, but you can break this rule with impunity as the need arises. You can ignore these guidelines if the spirit moves you to be spontaneous. For example, "Hey, got time for an ice cream cone?" can get you an immediate yes; you can also expand this invitation to a "maybe next week" if you get a no.

Now is always a better time to ask than later because your courage may diminish over time. There are some obvious exceptions to this rule: Don't ask someone who is in a crisis (never ask for a date at a funeral), just getting out of a relationship (never ask for a date at a divorce hearing, even if the person isn't one of the parties involved; it's bad karma), or going through any other experience when you may appear to be exploiting a weakness. You need to take the other person's life situation into account as well.

Always go for it if you're having a good hair or anything else day

You're cuter when you're happy, and self-confidence is sexy. Don't get into the "well, today is a write-off, I may as well ask, get rejected, and make it a perfect score" mentality. You can tolerate being turned down more easily when you're feeling strong - not to mention that rejection is a lot less likely.

Asking someone out for a first date isn't the time to trot out your best anything, including your imagination, checkbook, or best friend. This is a time to think KISS: Keep it Simple, Sweetie. All you want to do here is send a clear and gentle but important message: I'd like to spend some time getting to know you better. Are you interested?

The Invitation: Sending the Message

You have several options when actually asking for the date. The choices may be influenced by circumstances (like distance), personality, and personal style. In general, the closer you are when you ask, the better. When you're close to the person, you get more information, you appear more courageous, and you get some practice for the date.

Answering machine etiquette

An answering machine message, unlike an offthe- cuff remark or rumor or discussion, can be saved and replayed and misinterpreted and overanalyzed and overreacted to and thrown back in your face. Not only that, but you never know who's going to be listening on the other end. Here are six messages never to leave on a date's machine:

1. You're the best I've ever had.

2. I never want to see you again.

3. It's me. Give me a call.

4. Next time, we'll go out.

5. Your mother is hot.

6 Can I have your friend's phone number?

You can adapt any of the following methods for sending the message to your level of comfort. But be careful that you're not hiding behind your comfort level - sooner or later, you're going to have to get out there and actually date.

1. Asking in person: When possible, this is the best way to ask by far because seeing the person face-to-face gives you the most information. You can read body language and see whether the potential date looks pleased, terrified, God-forbid-revolted, or delighted. Based on the other person's reaction, you can then modify your behavior accordingly or run. The disadvantage with asking in person is that it's also the scariest for the exact same reasons. But it's still preferred and also the friendliest technique.

2. Asking on the phone: This method gives you less information, but if you get panicky, you can always hang up before they answer (although caller ID has made hanging up without saying anything a great deal trickier). When you ask over the phone, nobody can see your palms sweating; but then again, you also can't see your potential date's reaction.

Never ask an answering machine for a date. It's cowardly, sends the wrong message (you're manipulating them by making them call back before you ask them out), and occasionally, the machine actually eats the message. You never know if your potential date got the message or if it was intercepted by a protective parent, a jealous ex, a careless roommate, or the Fates.

3. Asking through a third party: In elementary school, you may have asked your best friend to ask her best friend if someone liked you. You may have even eventually gotten an answer, but after Suzy told Peter, and Peter told you, were you really 100 percent sure about the answer? Third parties are a very unreliable method of information flow. When other people get involved, sometimes they add their two cents to your message. For example, what if your best friend liked me and wanted you to ask me if I'd go out on a date with him? Can you see lots of room for sabotage and miscommunication?

Remember the story of our Pilgrim forefathers, John Alden and Miles Standish? Miles was the governor who asked his best friend John to intercede on his behalf with Priscilla Mullens. Priscilla decided she liked the messenger, and Miles was left out in the cold. Don't ask somebody else to ask for your date. The messenger may end up taking your potential date, and then not only do you still need a date but you also need a new friend.

4. Asking with a note: Even though computers have made notes faster and sexier, notes don't offer you much information and feedback, whether they're e-mail or snail mail (through the post office). When you ask with a note, you also don't know the mood your potential date may be in. In addition, a note opens the opportunity for interception, misinterpretation, a delay in feedback, and a lack of flexibility. Ask anybody who's asked for an RSVP to a written invitation, and you begin to understand the problem with asking for a date through a note. If you're absolutely determined to ask for a date in writing, I suggest a handwritten note via the post office because it's classier and implies more effort and concern.

A brief note here on sending a note with flowers, cigars, wine, a baseball hat, a ticket, or any gift: Sending gifts with the note is cute but tricky. You don't want to appear to be bribing your potential date on the first date. Gifts can be a token of respect and admiration and are okay and even valuable as you're getting to know each other, but they can be too much too soon. Besides, you don't want to have to top yourself later and end up buying your potential date a small country by the fourth date. Start out simply.

Getting an Answer

Okey, dokey - you've made plans, offered options, and asked for a date. Now what? Well, either the answer is yes, you have a date, or no, you don't. If the answer is yes, you're flying and ready to go on to planning the old date-aroony.

Dealing with a no

If the answer is no, you have nothing to lose by asking if another day, place, time, or event would suit them. Listen to the response carefully. Often people really are tied up working late, taking care of a sick parent, getting out of a relationship, studying, or being distracted and would be willing to consider an invitation in the future, just not now.

If you're feeling brave, you can say, "If not now, how soon?" If you're feeling a bit vulnerable, you can say, "Let me give you my number, and you can give me a call when you're ready." The middle ground is to say, "Why don't I give you a holler in a week or two and see how you're doing?" If your potential date says fine, then do it. If he or she says "I'll call you," don't hold your breath. Who needs to turn blue?

Getting some feedback

If you get a no, you may want to take a minute to try to figure out why. Make sure you haven't gotten into some bad habits. You may need to ask yourself some tough questions. Are you too eager, too desperate, too whiny, too silly, or too tense? Is your breath okay? Do you make eye contact?

No matter how honest you think you are, give yourself some balance by asking a willing friend to critique your approach (you've seen it in a million movies where the hero or heroine practices in front of a mirror - no, not Travis Bickle's "You lookin' at me?" line). Balance your friend's feedback with your own opinion so that you're not being too easy or too harsh on yourself. If you mess up your careful scenario, your friend can give you some tips and hints on improving it, and you can make sense of what you meant to say or do.

Practicing can help you get a grip on your nerves. A little nervousness is flattering to the potential date because it shows that you really want to get to know him or her. Too much nervousness can panic both of you. All things considered, it's probably even better to be a little bit nervous than so nonchalant and cool that your potential date has the sense you couldn't care less if he or she accepts your invitation or not, because if he or she isn't interested, no biggie, it's not them, you'll just move on to someone else. It's not a terrible idea to start a first date on an honest basis. I know - don't tell anybody I told you, and we'll try to keep it our dirty little secret.

Tips To Writing Your Online Dating Profile

Ever wondered why some of your single friends seem to get more matches through online dating than you? (We're not talking about your friends who physically resemble Brad and Angelina here.) You are all of a similar standard in the looks department, but some of them just keep getting the matches. Perhaps you need to overhaul your online dating profile. Check these tips below to ensure that your online dating profile is as good as it can be:

Sell yourself up. You should never forget that your online dating profile is pretty much an advertisement for yourself. There is no point downplaying your attributes. Demonstrate your best features in a positive light. Would you purchase a car that had an uninspiring ad?

Show individuality. Don't be afraid to stand out from the rest of the online dating singles. People get bored reading the same descriptions over and over. Make an effort to give different answers to others. Bland and safe answers are boring answers and you will not catch any one's attention by playing it safe.

Select an appropriate name. This is a really important point that many singles overlook when online dating. Single guys should note that girls do not think that any kind of dating name that has overly sexual connotations is clever or appealing. Everyone gets the names with 69 in them, no they are not clever, and most girls find them a turn off. If you can't think of anything original, or everything you can think of is taken, opt for your porn star name. Your porn star name is the name of your first pet and the name of your first street that you lived in. Play around with those name combinations until you find something you like.

Display a photo. Surveys show over and over that other singles will not date you if they cannot see what you look like. This makes sense since approximately 90% of initial attraction is based upon appearances. Other online dating singles want to see what you look like now, not 10 years and 10 kilos ago. Ensure that your online photo is as flattering as it can be. If you have great features make sure that they are well displayed in the photo.

Be honest. There is no point lying about your age and your hobbies. You are only wasting your time and everyone else's. Be honest about what sort of relationship you are seeking. There are plenty of singles in online dating for all types of encounters. If you are not interested in long term relationships tick one of the other boxes. Being honest on your profile gives you a much higher chance of finding someone that you are genuinely going to have things in common with.

Don't appear desperate. You may be desperate and dateless. You may feel that you are hopeless. You may have been single for a while. However, your online dating profile is no place to display those thoughts. No one likes misery. The more desperate you appear, the less singles you will attract. The trick to online dating is to appear happy and carefree.

Spend some time and thought on your online dating profile. Your online dating profile is definitely not the place for 'near enough is good enough'. Your online dating profile is the equivalent of you walking into a singles club. Would you go there looking less than your best? Eye catching online dating profiles do grab the attention of online dating singles. Overhaul your profile now.

Online Dating - Honesty is the Best Policy

If you've never dated online before than it's difficult to know where to start. Many of our members have told us that the most difficult thing to do is write a profile. It's hard to write the truth, rather than what you might think the reader wants to see. You need to be honest with yourself, about yourself, and with others. Don't short-change yourself. Don't compromise because you're lonely, or because your membership is about to run out and you still haven't met someone!

We would also suggest that it's okay to analyse your past relationship(s). Think about what you liked and didn't like, and then don't change your mind! If you didn't like it when your last partner smoked in the house or swore constantly, don't accept it from someone else hoping that their other qualities will overcome these minor issues.

One of the most important things you can do while searching for online companionship is to ask questions. Gently, carefully and respectfully ask about their past, their likes and dislikes, what they want from a relationship, etc. Take your time. It's easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of romance. As well, ask to see photos of the person in their day-to-day activities. I'm not saying that looks are the most important thing, but the reality is that you want to make sure that all of the flames are lit, and that you won't be surprised when you meet them in person, except in a positive way!

I remember meeting a guy once - travelled 4 hours by train. When I saw him at the train station I was horrified! He may have been 6'1" as he stated, before he shrunk! When I looked down all I could see were these huge earlobes. Now I know that sounds superficial, but my eyes must have been saucers! Not very mature of me, but in reality it was his attitude that turned me off. The earlobes I could have accepted, over time! I'm sure that there was someone just for him.

Everyone looks different to everyone else. It doesn't mean that we're all beautiful to everyone. Chemistry is very important, so make sure that you have it before you meet, or at least a foundation to build on. It's also important that you both want the same things. You don't want to spend your life trying to convince someone that getting married or having kids, if that's what you want, would be right for them. You will just get bitter over time. If you're honest from the start, than you’re sure to have a more positive and fruitful online dating experience. Last but not least, when you’ve met someone and you start a relationship, cancel your membership. Having a backup plan isn’t fair to your new partner. After all, you met her/him online so you know what can happen, and so do they!

For more dating advice and tips, visit us today at http://www.onlinedating4singles.com

How to Make People Laugh - Online Dating Chat and Singles Tips

Girls and guys love funny people.  Ever met a person at a party who appears to always have people wanting to sit near them and to be in their company?  We all love a laugh and an easy going, laid back partner who doesn't put others down is just great at the dinner table.  But what about when online dating?  Is it enough simply to be funny?  Its certainly a start...

Laughing and making other people laugh is a big asset in life.  Laughing produces good hormones in the body that help people feel more positive, healthier and even tolerant of others.  Even though naturally funny people exist, making someone laugh is a skill that can be taught.
Real life stories are funnier than made up ones.
Great comedians draw heavily on their actual life experiences, so the joke is on themselves rather than on other people, drawing focus on little details that may have appeared insignificant and showing other people an insight regarding the workings of their mind.  As we can relate to the actual aspects of the story, the entire joke appears believable and the humor in it comes across genuine.  Comedians who are well known for this type of comedy include Billy Connolly, arguably the funniest scot alive.

Repetition, saying the same thing several times can cause it to become humorous.  Sounds unbelievable?  Sometimes pushing a joke beyond the boundaries works.

Misdirection.  A style many comedians  apply is misdirection.  This means they include a story that goes in a totally different direction to that that was expected.  Groucho Marx would use this technique. The basis behind this is that when the listener knows what is going to occur then it won't be funny however by catching them by surprise, their mind can see the funny side.  Chevy Chase often uses this tactic with his joke telling.

Escalation is another different technique to be humorous.  This means that the story begins in a sensible, predictable way and then escalates into the very funny.  You add more and more funny dialogue until the listener begins cracking up in laughter.

Understatement is when you make an important topic seem really trivial.
Reversal means moving the story around so that it refers to the incorrect noun - like "residents dangerous to local dogs"

The error many of us make when trying to be humorous is to try to be funny non stop.  They end up sounding idiotic and embarrass themselves.  The answer to humor is to inject it into a story.  It is sometimes someone who is usually fairly straight, that comes across really funny when they throw in several random lines to a conversation or who then tell a really clever tale of their lives.

The main difference online is that you need to count on the content or context to display humor - sarcasm, unless you know the person does not work very well online.

  Free Online Dating Site and Chat Rooms for Singles Australian Internet Dating



Good Looking Singles More Cautious When it Comes to Intimicy - Online Dating Advice

Alot of singles find it difficult to chat to a good looking man or woman. Some people become tongue tied, blush and get embarrassed and then come across feeling unattractive. Recent studies indicate, alot of attractive people have lower self esteem than their less attractive counterparts.  In fact, they are often more self conscious for reasons being that people are giving them more attention because of the way they look and not because they deserve it. As there is uncertainty of their own real worth together with the feeling that everyone who meets them does so with an ulterior motive, could make them insecure yet afraid to admit it.  How often have you seen an attractive female with a good career and heard said "I wonder what she must have done to get that job". Good looking people grow up with this attitude directed at them all of their lives and can eventually resent it.  They can often face the polar opposite where people will reward them and thank them regardless of whether they feel they have earned it.

Studies have shown that the more good looking a woman is, the less sexual experience she will have had.  The more good looking a man is, the more sexual experience he will have had. Males tend to feel that these experiences, on the whole, had no real meaning and will sometimes feel unfulfilled emotionally.  Females who are attractive can often date regularly although are more cautious in becoming physically involved.

So if you meet Mr or Ms Attractive and actually want to make them your partner one way is to avoid offering lots of compliments.  If you over do it in the complimenting department they may start to think that you are going to try to take advantage in certain ways and do not like them as a person.  Given that they will have spent years listening to people telling them how smart, how nice looking, how accomplished they are then this will make a welcome change.  Self confidence is in itself a very attractive trait. Being confident does not mean that you need to be over the top and full of yourself.  Its not hard to mistake appearing confident as coming across as conceited or boastful. Very attractive confidence is quiet, and self assured . The style of confidence which shouldn't need to be announced or talked about, but just is.

Another important thing, without doubt,  is to be content within yourself.  Online dating, helps meeting singles some what less stressful. Its possible to get to know other singles for who they really are and you don't have to feel awkward or to overly focus on physical attraction. Confidence is still a major draw card, and easier to practise online.

  Free Online Dating Site and Chat Rooms for Singles Australian Internet Dating



The Best Things in Life are Usually Free - Online Dating and Singles Tips

1/ Love
Can best be explained as a positive emotion of affection or perhaps warm devotion. There are varying types and levels of love. Most of us love our children, partners and our folks but they are loved in different ways. Love is free and cant be purchased. Many non wealthy people can experience the gift of love in a much greater way than many wealthy people.

2/ Laughter and smiling
Laughing and smiling is one of the greatest ways to get by in life. Anyone can do it and its and free. Mother Theresa quoted “peace starts with a smile". Smiling nurtures a loving partnership and is the universal language into our hearts.

3/ Sleeping in on rainy days
A full 9 -10 hours sleep overcoming a hectic week at the work place and waking peacefully on a Saturday morning to rain and thunder can have a calming and relaxing effect. This is sure to set the scene for a peaceful and soothing weekend which comes free courtesy of mother nature.

4/ Compliments
Being complimented can turn an average day into making us seem like we are on top of the world. Given or receiving a compliment is free and can be used to  brighten us up with just 1 or 2 nice words. We can receive or give a compliment about peoples appearance, work, attitude, or even an achievement. Compliments can do wonders, try it sometime.

5/ The beach
For many, it doesn't get any better than the beautiful beaches of Australia and its stunning coastlines. Our beaches really are a free gift from our creator that has endless uses for enjoyment such as Surfing, sun baking, swimming, fishing, a stroll, and the scenery.

6/ Free Chat
Everyone can chat. Chatting and conversation is our most common form of communication. We chat socially, chat when working, chat on the telephone, we chat anywhere and everywhere. This is without doubt our most used free past time. Many free online dating sites use chat rooms where singles can meet and swap contact information if there is some chemistry established whilst online.

7/ Free online dating site
Dating is enjoyed by lots of singles and we engage in this social tool and seek the company of a potential single to share in fun and good times. Finding romance is free and can usually beat any experience that money can buy. Lots of singles are signing up with free online dating sites and dating other members finding lasting romance.

Here are 7 simple examples of how free can be better than paid on many levels, there are lots of others freebies on offer many of us take for granted. Our hectic lives seem to have us focused on the mighty dollar and we neglect that many of life's offerings are for free.

  Free Online Dating Chat Site for Australian singles 



What Do Women Chat About? - Singles and Dating Advice Australia

We sometimes wonder just what it is our girlfriends chat about to their friends when we are not there. Sometimes it would be great to be a fly on the wall. Are our partners truthful with us when we enquire to them what it is that they chat to their friends about?

Does she share some of your dirty laundry with her girlfriends or divulge private information you and your lover share. Is there something particular you entrust to your partner that is very private only to feel paranoid when mixing with her friends and worried that she has possibly revealed your personal details.

Does your lady chat about your sex life and all the gory details. Perhaps you have a private sexual issue you only share with your partner, but you suspect she chats about this to her girlfriends.

Females are more inclined to chat to their friends regarding personal issues than males are. We have revealed several popular topics women chat about and have shared actual feed back from nearly 200 females.  

Surveys targeting 18-35 year old women through Australia's leading online dating site revealed some of the things female singles and females in relationships chat about when they meet up.


Many of these women were swept up with the latest clothing trends. Upmarket and eye catching girl wear was the subject most talked about when females met up for their regular chat sessions. Looking and feeling great in clothes was a priority. Womens glossy mags are a big influence with women and the latest clothing styles.


Females liked to catch up with their friends to also discuss food, a healthy eating plan and exercise. The look good feel good method seems to be alive and well with alot of females adopting healthy habits using diet and exercise as part of their routines. Health and well being was an important factor that women chat about.


Love and romance was another popular topic. With all the chat nowdays about being in the singles and dating arena vs being in a committed partnership its hard to know what many females of this day and age are truly looking for. The Australian online dating site used to carry out this research claims that women generally prefer a secure environment with a loving relationship and often raise the issue with their friends of the difficulty catching the right man.


Females chat to each other about their sex lives alot. Instead of going into details about certain sex acts (unlike their male counterparts) females chat about this subject on a more mental or sensitive level. Women chat about whether they are doing it or whether they arent, and with the person they are doing it with, sometimes they chat about how long it has been since they last had sex, or which man they fancied. Their boyfriends sexual performance or level of satisfaction was also a popular chat topic. 

Certain free online dating and singles chat “rooms” offer free chat groups set up for females and males where they can chat about topics relating to their own gender and exchange or share experiences.  Go online and search under free online dating and chat "rooms" to find out more.

  Free Online Dating Chat Rooms for Australian singles 



Popular Online Dating Activities

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how.

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate.  Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc.  Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for “photo albums” to find places that store your photos.

Greeting Cards - Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life.  Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand.  Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

So get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

Visit Our Online Dating Guide Blog

Ways to Say Sorry - Tips on Effective Apology

Arguments between 2 people in a relationship are unavoidable. Sometimes during the heat of the argument, we say or do stupid things. When things have cools off and we are clear minded, we realized what we did was a major mistake. What do we do next? It is time to find ways to say sorry. This article will share some useful information on the best ways on effective apology.

A relationship with someone we love should be treasured. If we made a mistake or did something wrong, the next step is to find to courage to apologize. Adding your own special touch to your apology can make all the difference in getting things back on track. To have an effective apology, try using apology gifts for the "extra touch" when you are saying sorry to your partner. Flowers, candies, a pen, a neck tie etc are the most common apology gifts. This approach is not necessary for an apology to be effective, but it does speed up the healing process of the perfect being hurt by our previous action. Just make sure when giving a gift that it is given with an apology and is not the apology itself.

Another effective ways to say sorry is to do it with poems or poetry. A poem has long been considered one of the most thoughtful, symbolic, and romantic ways to communicate ones feelings. It fully captures the person inner thought and often brings out an emotional or sensual response. Try using poetry to let the other person know how important the relationship is to you. For a poem or poetry to be effective when you are saying sorry, try framing it in a well crafted verbal or written message appropriate to the circumstance.

Healthy Love Relationship - Hot Secrets to Say Yes to Love

Like a lot of couples you probably started your relationship with lots of passion and heated sex, but now find the romance dwindling, with sex taking a back seat to the TV. Today's hectic pace of life and auto-pilot living can take over, leaving romance and love in the dust. Take control of your love life by planning a romantic evening to bring love and passion back to your bedroom.

� If you idea of celebrating love is sitting on the couch with your couch potato. Turn the TV off and set the mood for romance. She may have lost her libido to the remote control. Follow these rituals to create a magical romantic evening.

� Pick up her favorite flowers and a mood candle. Make sure that you show up first before her. Put the flowers on the nightstand and light the mood candle.

� Put clean red sheets on the bed. Leave a love note on her pillow with rose petals under the sheet.

� Run a hot bath in the tub five minutes before she arrives. Add three drops each of lavender, ylang ylang, rose geranium, clary sage and marjoram to a teaspoon of honey and add this to her bath just before she enters. Put on her favorite music and quickly get in the shower.

� When she arrives take her directly to the bathroom and help her undress. Have her slip into the bath. Roll a towel and slip it under her head.

� Once she is ready to leave her heavenly bath. Have a nice bathrobe for her to slip into. Lay her on the bed in her bathrobe on top of the rose petals. Take a relaxing lotion like lavender and massage her feet.

She is now relaxed and in the mood. The rest is up to you. Take your time to focus on what you love about each other and make the most of the moment. It is up to you to create love or push love away with an over busy schedule and then collapsing in front of the tv. Seize the moment and create the love you want. Go to http://www.retreatandheal.com for information on couples retreats to help you recapture love and romance.

Relationship Rescue Secrets Offering a Road Map to Passion and Romance

I was born into a family where I didn't experience much love. I learned to get love and attention from a burned out mom of ten by creating drama and pain. Here are the most effective tools that I have found to create passion, love, and romance.

* Keep an Emotions journal for one month. Become aware of what you experience on a daily basis. Write down what you are feeling first thing in the morning and last thing at night. When you catch yourself reacting to a person, event or situation - recall the triggers and what you felt.

* Notice the emotions that you are most comfortable and uncomfortable with. Learn to feel your emotions and embrace them with fun. Look in the mirror and smile, the instant you do that, there is a change.

* Take a breathing or Yoga class and learn to use your breath to release your emotions. The extra oxygen in your system will re-energize your mind and spirit.

* Enroll in a dance or movement class and learn to tap into and move your emotions. Choose music that you love and respond to. Find a comfortable space and schedule time to move to the music. Get inspired! Watch how Ellen DeGeneres transforms herself and audience when the music starts and the dancing begins. Feel the emotion as you watch each couple compete on Dancing with the Stars.

* Give yourself a reward at the end of the month. Acknowledge your successes and look at your steps backward as an opportunity for new growth.

*Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) empowers you to heal your emotions. Created by Gary Craig, it has been used for everything from acute disease to depression and chronic illness. The philosophy is that all dis-ease, be it physical or emotional, is created by a disruption in the flow of energy through your body.

Successful Relationship Communication - 4 Pillars

Relationships are hard. They are hard to get started and they are just as hard to keep going. Luckily, the secret of keeping a relationship flowing is no longer a secret. The solution is understanding relationship communication.

Below is a list of 4 foundations to successful relationship communication. Keep in mind that each of these "pillars" is equally important for a relationship's survival.

1) Communication is more than just a part of relationships; it is the relationship. Interpersonal relations can't be formed, or even maintained, without actively communicating. If communication stops, the relationship eventually will too. Therefore, the overall importance of communication in general is undeniable.

2) It is impossible for you to not communicate. Regardless of if you share your feelings with your partner or remain silent - if you are in the presence someone else, you are communicating with that person - if by no other means than nonverbally. Note: it is important to remember that both the intentional and unintentional messages we send out to other people are often translated incorrectly (the intended meaning is misunderstood or inaccurate).

3) Meanings are in the people, not the words. When humans hear a message the process of translating it into a specific meaning depends on that particular individual and the circumstances surrounding them. When you hear the word "dog", you may think of Lassi while your partner thinks about a Cujo.

With millions of thoughts speeding though our brains, it is impossible for two people always to think the same thing. In light of this, just imagine how many differences can arise in meaning when considering terms like "love", "space", "intimate", or "commit".

4) Communication is permanent. Once an individual receives and processes a message, it is irreversible. If you come to regret something you said to your partner, all you can do is apologize and hope for forgiveness. The message can't be erased. Therefore, avoid rushing relationship communication and overly emotional communication (whether it is passionate love talk or an intense argument).

Conversing when emotionally aroused/upset often leads to sending messages that we did not mean or intend on saying. Also, be aware of the related dangers of alcohol/drug usage and relationship communication.

With all 4 of these pillars in mind you will be much better prepared to successfully communicate within your relationship.

Popularity: How to be Popular in Relationships

POPULARITY IN RELATIONSHIPS (Based on author’s site www.geocities.com/rltnshps)

How to be liked, popular in social, inmate relationships, friendships; what popularity is.

"I am popular, and people still don't like me!" screams a high school student in a discussion form. One advises: "Being popular means you're better than everyone else, so act like it!" Another complains: "People look down on me and my friends, because we're so popular!"

Popularity, even the meaning of do not know many. A glance at high school web-forms show it to be thought of as being rich, posh, an achiever, a show off -and a stigma to be regarded to be! That is far from even what it used to mean centuries ago: common.

Popularity is likeability; regardless of looks, wealth or position or intellect, being liked by other people.

A US president deemed more able and elected did not get the popularity vote -his opponent did ~another who when told someone was anticommunist replied "I don't care what kind of communist" did, also. A wealthier Italian news-media magnet was not popular with people, his rival was. A UK premier considered by women better looking didn't win the popularity vote -the older balding opposition-leader got the women's popularity vote.

Popularity isn't about being looked up to, looks, wealth -a fool and a genius, a weakling and a strongman, poor and rich, can be equally liked, enjoy personal popularity.

Popularity is not synonymous with socialising -you may socialise a lot, take part in all sorts of social activity, attend every party, but still not enjoy any popularity.

Being liked by others, popularity, have to do with one's attitude in one's socialising, interaction with people; the attitude that commonly, to the majority of the people, makes one somebody they like to deal or be with.

It's not being an angel or saintly, about views, opinions, likes, dislikes, preferences, but how one treats others.

People are like mirrors; popularity is based on that. If you stand in front of a mirror and make faces, that's what you get; if you smile, the mirror smiles back at you.

Popularity is respect based -not 'respect for authority', not in the 'yes sir' sense, but respect for others' right to be treated as they are regarded by people entitled to expect to be treated. This simply is being considerate in friendship and toward other people one deals with.

Being considerate is being sincere and helpful; or at least sympathetic, and if one can not be that either, then at the very least empathetic -understanding enough to respect others' right to their views, opinions, preferences ~for your right to same not to spoil theirs.

That is what respect for others means -but it makes you popular because it also makes others respect you.

People who must, do show respect for wealth or position; if they don't have to, here's their saying: Respect not even a king, if he doesn't respect you; but do respect also a pauper, if he respects you!

Let us look at it in literature, in verse (from a poem by O. Metiner - Birlik, 29 Jan 1993 -trnsltd.), about the popular Cypriot thinker-writer-poet the teacher, the late, Orhan Seyfi Ari - it tells it all:

His concern -so sincere!

Greatly respected everywhere!

Years spent -to illuminate!

More: hearts, his sultanate!

What's it saying? So respected, because he was sincerely concerned, helped -therefore popular.

Many fail in relationships with others, because they are not popular -popularity is not difficult. All one needs to do is to have regard in one's dealings to what people consider others entitled to expect.

That pays, and if you don't do that people think you are stupid, because you are not cashing in on it. But if you do, you do not become unpopular -you benefit, its psychological: a cop is nicer to you for speeding if you get out of the car. Why? Inside the car you are insisting on your territory -outside, recognising his status.

On such scientific experiments are based the gist of the experts' advice on popularity in relationships, below:-

To be considerate and become popular in relationships, be clever, use psychology to cash in on it: appreciate human nature in your relationships -which briefly is this:

One's major relationships, basically, are with people in four categories (the last three being interchangeable) with varying degrees of popularity: Blood relatives, e.g., parents or cousins -which one cannot choose; Intimate, e.g., spouses and lovers -which one carefully chooses; social, e.g., friends and acquaintances -some dearer than others; and, casual, e.g., work or class mates, the grocer, strangers -of necessity. (Within the last three one may become another.)

In all four relationships, each party in varying degrees feels protected by a physical personal space. Do not violate that personal space without permission -it makes people feel uncomfortable, your company disliked, you not popular: That personal space in the first two is about 1.5, in the last two 4 feet (45cm, 1.2m).

In all of these relationships people crave for something, depending the nature of the relationship, which makes the difference between being liked by them or not -popularity or unpopularity with them. In the first, blood relations, one craves for approval. In the second, spouses, lovers, expect understanding, affection, appreciation. In the third, social acquaintances, friends want popularity -to be liked by you. In the fourth, casual, others: co-operation. Showing these makes popular.

Here are some general rules about how to earn likeability, popularity, be famous, in these relationships:

The first two relationships, relatives, family relations or intimate relationships, have fewer such rules. This is because in matrimonial relationships, personal relations -steady emotional or sexual relationships, living together, boyfriends, girlfriends, lovers, habitually we take for granted or are caringly tolerant toward each other. We are more involved in these family or other intimate relationships. The constancy and importance of our dealings reflect others' personal likes, preferences more in close or intimate relationships, we know most.

Generally these earn one popularity in such intimate relationships: The elderly are somewhat set in their ways -popularity with them is appreciating that. In parenting, popularity with kids begins with empathising with them; if unsympathetic, still being understanding -to be popular with teenagers make them feel that you regard them not as children but as gown ups.

In male and female relationships these remembering these boost one's likeability, popularity: With men, one is more popular if one does not make them appear or feel week. Women like romantic compliments, and to be made to laugh. In intimate relationships all like constant reassurance, to be shown appreciation, frequent praise. In such relationships these make liked, fonder, popular.

The other two kinds of relationships, with friends and acquaintances, with others, involve different measures for popularity. Popularity in social relationships depends on standard rules of conduct. To be popular socially, remember: Social relationships often are not so important to people as their intimate relationships; just as you do, others also like appreciation, even flattery.

The generally applicable rules of being famously liked, popularity, in social, casual relationships are these:

Be a talker but do not bore ~also be a listener: give others a chance also to talk, to tell you about themselves. Appreciate the views of others, even if you disagree; do not criticise unnecessarily. To be popular, if someone wants to be clever avoid an inessential battle of wits. If it is important to you, do not spinelessly agree with the ridiculous; don't show up if unimportant -neither earn popularity. Be a sport if you have heard a joke before do not spoil another's fun or enjoyment. Do not be a stiff, join the laughter of a harmless trick on you. If suggesting something, ask if it is okay; show you value others. These make a famous personality, in social relationships earn one social popularity.

Popular friendships are special popular relationships. When confided in, do not betray confidences of friends. If depended on, do not allow yourself to be subjected to moral blackmail; but, if helping or consoling be positive and sincere. If your friend rejects your helpful advice it may be because of confusion, do not nag. If the issue is someone dear to you or to your friend try not to take sides ~never speak ill of someone dear to a friend, even if your friend does in anger (it passes). In unexpected visits don't stay too long -be considerate. Don't forget friends, keep in touch when they cannot; if away a phone call, letter, fax, email, postcard pleases - especially on birthdays, anniversaries ~ask how they are, show you care. These make famous with friends, boost your personal popularity rating in friendships.

It earns popularity with acquaintances to keep some distance; people dislike being taken for granted. In casual relationships it makes popular, it is expected, in one's dealings to be seen to be reasonable. If pursuing an interest, giving a stranger's role or status recognition gets co-operation -it's using psychology, cleverly cashing in on human nature, benefiting from popularity.

These tried and tested advice, tips on popularity, work.

It always works and earns popularity in relationships to always wear a smile; be fair, empathetic; show interest.

May interest –a most popular man Teacher’s Popularity

Relationship Rescue

Relationship Rescue

Those early days in a relationship are the uncomplicated ones when everything about your partner is seen through rose decorated glasses and any temperamental shortcomings are ignored in favor of those lovable features that make everything look so perfect. While doing so, we conveniently forget that it takes pains to make a long term relationship work and in the end we head towards one ultimate relationship disaster. And this is when you need to think about relationship rescue, which till date was one of the most alien concepts to you.

Relationships are intricate, and the guiding rules keep changing. It is really hard to keep up as people change, times change and situations change. When your relationship starts turning bad to worse, it doesn’t mean that you no longer love each other or it doesn’t mean that you can’t correct problems. But it does mean that you will have to reconsider some issues, and to hear to that advanced warning you got to drop the smugness, and to rescue the relationship before it’s too late.

If you consider that relationship rescue is difficult, you are wrong. Relationship rescue, in many cases isn’t too hard. Most of the relationships usually react well within a little time and effort, some understanding, a little give and take and reassurance. One can often you can trace the initial breakdown in a relationship back to lack of communication, so in looking at what you need to do to rescue a relationship communication is generally the first part of call. When you consider the consequences, the main causes why someone goes in search of guidance for their failing relationship, to rescue it and save it from final break up, most things can be traced back to prove that communication failure was the root cause.

Even unfaithfulness between partners, such as infidelity can be traced back to a communication gaps. People can spend a lot of time being unhappy in their relationship and pleading for things to get sorted out, whereas, from the other partner’s point of view everything appears alright. A general question arises as how it could happen? How can one partner so obviously see that something is wrong and the other carry on regardless, seemingly happy in the awareness that their relationship is without a flaw? At the end of the day relationships can be minefields, especially if you take your eye off the ball and most relationships struggle at some point, but the majority can be rescued if at least one of the partners recognizes there is a problem and takes action.

Relationships, especially the pong term ones, need to be esteemed, cherished and cared for. At the same time partners have to understand that relationships rarely survive without a effort to keep them alive. Relationships need intimacy, surprises, and that all too forgotten relationship time. Just because people live together it doesn’t mean to say the relationship no longer requires attention and that the partners no longer need to feel special.

Trying to Establish a Relationship With In-laws

Copyright (c) 2008 Mary Ann Copson

Here's a simple question that came up in Personal Coaching session:

"My husband and I have been married for five years and his family is still a mystery to me. I?ve tried everything I know to develop a closer relationship with them. I call his parents at least once a week, set up outings and dinner dates with them, and invite them on our excursions. All to no avail. They simply don?t seem interested. I think that close family relationships are important and I?ve told them how much I would like to get to know them better. And still their response is lukewarm. Should I just give up?"

Research shows that when we feel emotionally disconnected from those with whom we are in relationship, our emotional brain becomes aroused and we move into flight or fight mode. This means we respond only in terms of defense and attack. The results are not good for our relationships and it throws our physiology into chaos.

Nothing affects the emotional brain like the quality of your relationships. Women are relationship oriented - Relationships mean a lot to women. A good relationship can give you increased energy and support a positive outlook. A troubled relationship can wear you out. The health and wellbeing of your relationships entrains your emotional brain, which in turn governs your physiological health.

When you are engaged in disconnected, turbulent, or emotionally unfulfilling relationships, your moods and energy can become drained, negative, and unsustaining.

By contrast, relationship peace and connection can lead to better health and well-being, more vital energy and more positive moods. By almost every measure those who have close and rewarding relationships do better than those who have turbulent relationships.

Often times in relationships we are looking to the other party to be an equal part of turning the relationship into something that meets our needs. But before we even get to that point there is a lot of our own internal work that can be done and often needs to be done before we can experience the kind of relationships we want.

In a situation like you are experiencing the first place to look at would be the whole issue of your need to have close family relationships. It is so important to be aware of our needs and then to find a way to get those needs met. Asking for what you need from friends and family can be wonderful and successful tactic to help get those needs taken care of. But, there are pitfalls in that process.

You may be asking your husband?s family to fulfill a need of yours that they are not capable of fulfilling ? particularly in a way that is satisfying to you. If you have a need for close family relationships, you have to match up with someone who likes to give close family relationships. It makes no sense to keep coming to the tropics when you want to be snow skiing. They may be doing the best they can but simply not be able to do what it is you need.

If you have a need for this experience of close family relationships and your in-laws don?t seem to be able to meet that need ? find another way. Perhaps it would be more fulfilling for you (and less stress on them) if you fill your need by developing close relationships with other members of the family.

Also, it is a useful insight to discover what is underlying this need. Maybe, these close family relationships make you feel connected and secure in a caring network. If that is the case, there are many means to experience this type of connection ? become a Big Sister or get involved in a local charity organization. Once you discover the essence of your need there are many ways to get that need met.

Could be that your in-laws are already experiencing a close family relationship with you. Maybe their lukewarm response is their idea of a close family relationship and it could help you if you found out what their ideal family interactions are like. Some people can feel totally connected to friends and family and not see or speak with them for months. You all might be in agreement on the basic outcome of the relationships ? it is just that the ways and means that don?t mesh.

Maybe they don?t like doing the things the things you like to do ? find out what their favorite things to do are. Sitting home and watching TV might be their preference and they aren?t so fond of dinners out and excursions to new places.

There is a quote by Gandhi that says, ?Be the change you want to see in the world.? This is wonderful advice for a relationship. Often we come to a relationship seeking something outside of ourselves. If we want intimacy in a relationship we can not be waiting for the other person to be intimate. We have to be intimacy ourselves. We have to develop our own experience of intimacy so that no matter who we are relating to we are able to experience an intimate connection with them. The experience comes from our own dynamic and we merge and expand that experience in the presence of another ? but we don?t depend on them to make something happen for us. We become the experience we want to have in a relationship.

Unfortunately ? or is that fortunately?- you can?t change anyone but yourself. Taking the focus off your husband?s in-laws and putting it on the only place you can change ? yourself ? will put you back in the driver?s seat and leave you in an empowered position. The need you feel for close family relationships may be your call to become connection, intimacy, or support. As you grow and develop these characteristics, of the essence of close family relationships, you will not only fill up your need but also generate those characteristics in the world and attract them to you.

Good luck and have fun.

?When we know that the cause of something is in ourselves, and that we (ourselves) are one of the few things in the universe that we have the right and ability to change, we begin to get a sense of the choices we really do have, an inkling of the power we have, a feeling of being in charge of our lives, of our future, of our dreams.? - John Roger and Peter McWilliams

The Best Relationships Help You Will Ever Find

Often men and women are at opposite ends of the spectrum when the issue of relationships is taken into account. Their behaviors and differences are most noticeable when taking into consideration how they behave during emotion charged conflicts. This provides a clear insight into realizing how they process their differences.

According to surveys written by relationship counselors, limited communication is credited for more than half of the failed relationships that are observed and documented. This is not a surprise to anyone who has lived inside a relationship that has lasted more than a couple of weeks.

One very interesting factor is the number of reasons that lead to the failure of relationships. Stories of the behavioral misdeeds and misunderstandings that trigger relationship disasters reveal an intricate series of obvious manipulations.

Differences in how individuals in a relationship were raised and the reasons couples came together in the first place can differ so much that their motives often contribute to tears in the fabric of the relationship.

One example is the emotional baggage one or both partners may carry from from having survived terrible childhood experiences. What is learned from each perspective that is observed provides examples that counselors apply from their session successes and small failures.

This equips them to help couples from a diverse range of points of view. The knowledge and experience of long sessions with couples focused coaching provides relationship coaches a rich storehouse of tools for helping partners in a relationship.

The old expression, "Knowledge is power," sounds true once it is pointed toward a relationship's survival. When couples take even a few minutes to focus on their relationship strengths, they can learn to make the relationship stronger. By stronger I mean, the strength that many relationships experience is founded on old mental junk being experienced over and over by the partners.

In nearly every situation couples keep their baggage a secret from their partner. Most of the time partners wait until it's too late to share their baggage with their partner. The primary issue that hurts the relationship is often not the emotional baggage or the related issues that contribute to the break up of the relationship.

What tends to accelerate the failure of the relationship is the silent misery and suffering compounded with a quietly held feeling that the other partner should actually know everything about this baggage, even though neither of them has ever risked talking directly about the issue that causes them to suffer.

Working to make your relationship work may seem like a big task but often adding more humor can have an amazing impact. There are many ways to put your relationship on a different track, but it may take lots of out of the box thinking to get the ball rolling. John Maxwell, the extremely talented author of "Relationships 101," says, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." In many relationships couples ignore this most valuable part of any relationship's potential for improvement.

Thinking more about looking at ways of growing your relationship outside he physical level of living together, means each partner must be profoundly dedicated to the other partner. Once both partners center on their loyalty to each other change can begin.

This step includes undertaking the risk of assuming each of the partners is keeping a secret about the baggage they bought into the relationship. This is not a suggestion that partners pry or aggressively intrude into the other partner's privacy, because privacy is always vital in a relationship.

The message here is that while privacy must forever be honored, partners must share the secrets that could hurt the relationship if they are not disclosed. Communicating is not requiring your partner to divulge every detail of their day. True communication travels to physical and emotional locations untouched by words alone.

What helps to translate the balance that is required starts with looking into the heart of the matter and searching for a means of locating a handle on one's own baggage. Many times partners are attracted to each other because of their differences.

It is well known that children who experience an abusive environment will mostly find themselves in an abusive relationship as an adult. Acknowledging the reality of the presence of this baggage in one's self forms the basis of the subconscious desire for the other partner's understanding in the form of silent knowing.

Additionally, it is also true that this baggage, once revealed, helps the partner gain an enhanced understanding of the behaviors and barriers that have been part of the relationship. The healing and preventative process should start out with a message and an understanding that all old baggage, both known and unknown, lives|in the relationship.

Both partners must also acknowledge that open and honest communication is the primary component for the success of the relationship, while limited communication can be the main cause for any potential for the failure of the relationship. Relationships where limited communication is the norm won't survive.

Relationships survive when open and sensitive communication is active and practiced regularly. Once open communication is ends, so does the relationship.

Are you Addicted to Bad Relationships?

Advertising executive, Carol Fena has been in and out of a relationship with banker, Neal for the last two years. They break up for a week or two but then keep getting back together until the next blow-up. Carol's friends can't understand why she keeps going back to Neal and why she is so addicted to him in spite of the fact that he is emotionally abusive.

Many are the people caught in the web of addictive relationships. And often, we ourselves realise that we have been in relationships that have disappointed us in some way or another... relationships that didn't work out the way we had hoped, wanted or thought they would. And, we're not just talking about intimate and love relationships. We're talking about toxic friends, back stabbing relatives, abusive partners and controlling family members, vicious colleagues.

Sometimes the poisoned relationship is with a family member or an in-law. Or perhaps a friendship has lived out its purpose. In this case, so much time has been invested in the friendship that it is hard to let go. However, addictive relationships are most often evident in romantic interactions between men and women.


Remaining in a bad relationship not only causes continual stress but can also cloud your life with frustration, emptiness and despair. It can drain your energy and make you tense and stressed. Addicts become so elaborately enmeshed in the other person that the sense of self-personal identity is severely restricted, crowded out by that other person's identity and problems. Such people struggle relentlessly to fill the great emotional vacuum within themselves. Despite the pain of these relationships, many rational and practical people find that they are unable to leave, even though they know the relationship is bad for them.

One part of them wants out but a seemingly stronger part refuses or feels helpless to take any action. It is in this sense that the relationships are addictive. In case of romantic relationships, entering a relationship based on the fear of being alone is totally self-destructive. In this type of scenario, an individual will choose to be with just about anybody to fill the void he/she has in life. Desperation for love and romance to fulfill your desires may lead to selection of wrong partners. So, if you use your fears and insecurities to make your relationship decisions, you inevitably will have to suffer pain and suffering.


A person who is excessively attached to another person most likely carried those habits over from past relationships. The conditions in past relationships can leave a person feeling inadequate or mentally and/or physically abused. Romantic relationships are not the only type that causes such habits to develop; they can also stem from lack of nurturing or attention during childhood, isolation or detachment from family, early abandonment, unrecognised early needs and fears of rejection. Often, children who are not loved, nurtured and encouraged in their independence are left feeling 'needy' as adults and may thus be more vulnerable to dependent relationships. These 'clingy' feelings which develop early in childhood, often operate without awareness and can exert considerable influence on a person's life. Often, dysfunctional relationship patterns are passed on from parents to their children.

Thus, unhealthy relationships can be a source of great agony if there is emotional or physical abuse involved. Often, relation addicts do not want to see or believe that their parents, spouses, children or friends can be a toxic influence in their life. This kind of denial may last a lifetime, or it may give way to a painful awareness that the relationship is not healthy. Also, for many people caught in this trap, it is often a vicious circle. For them, the end of one relationship is not always the end of the battle. They choose destructive relationships over and over again. The consequences of their choices are painful and emotionally damaging, yet those that engage in this repetitive behaviour never seem to learn from their experience.


All relationships leave very important clues about who and what we are. Try to remember all the relationships that you know have been bad for you. Think of the relationship history and look for patterns, themes and repeating incidents. "If it is all about everyone else and what they did to you, it means you are a victim, helpless to affect change. When you can see where you are contributing to the problems, you can make changes. Personal accountability is the most empowering tool for healing. You can talk to a trusted friend or a counsellor depending upon the severity of your situation. Sometimes having an outsider's perspective is helpful. Such a person can help you filter through your options and underlying motives for making a decision. Often, it is difflcult to sever ties with people with whom you are emotionally involved - say family members, spouses, boyfriend/girlfriend, ete. Breaking up will not be easy. Be sure to resolve any guilt you might be feeling. Too often we let other people relate to us on the basis of our weaknesses and faults. We are attracted to bad traits in people and consequently, these characteristics lead to unhealthy relationships. These people have no other way of relating to us. It will take some re-learning and re-conditioning to achieve this change of relating to others through our strengths, especially if the negative relationship has been long term. You have to let go of negative relationships. It could mean you have to break a business partnership. It could mean you need to call off an engagement. It might require you to avoid toxic friends and acquire some new friends who are true to you.


Married people stay together to work out their issues. This approach to marriage counselling believes that your partner is the right person to help you heal your wounds. With this approach, many marriages can be saved. However, there are three reasons to leave a relationship: The Three As. There is severe abuse, severe adultery and severe addiction. These three extreme conditions rarely change. In such cases, getting out of the relationship is important. You are putting yourself, and possibly others, in serious jeopardy if you continue to stay in the relationship. Divorce in such cases is merited. Also, partners sometimes stay in bad marriages for the sake of the children. But this can be a big mistake if there is abuse involved, because doing so puts a terrible burden on the children. But marriage experts believe that each marriage has different issues and if the problems can be solved amicably, there is no need for divorce. A study conducted by sociologist Linda Waite at University of Chicago suggests that staying together is better for the children. She writes in The Case for Marriage that "most current divorces leave children worse off, educationally and financially, than they would have been if their parents stayed married, and a majority of divorces leave children psychologically worse off as well. Only a minority of divorces are taking place in families where children are likely to benefit in any way from their parents' separation. I do not advocate divorce as a first step when a marriage is going awry. There are always ups and downs in a marriage. Anyone can manage life during good times. It is getting through the bad times that makes or breaks a relationship.


It is not difficult to break bad relationship habits. Once you decide to let go off your clingy nature, healing will automatically come. Once you aim to heal your past and maintain healthy relationships, you will automatically stay away from associating with toxic people. Always try to keep your relationships healthy. People in healthy relationships grow together and don't stunt each other's progress. Learn to respect your individuality and give and take space. Sometimes we have to associate with negative people, but if you have a healthy self-esteem and courage to stand up for yourself, you won't be affected by such people. Thus, the first step towards breaking bad relationship habits is having a strong conception of your own identity. Often, we allow people into our lives who treat us as we expect to be treated. So, if you feel contempt for yourself or think very little of yourself, you may pick partners or significant others who reflect this image back to you. Learn to recognise such patterns in your life and pluck them off. There will be anger, resentment, hurt and pain. But, you will be breaking your psychological dependency on other people. Recovering from relationship addiction is a process of acknowledging and then letting go of pain, and finding ways to build a happy life.


1) Make your 'recovery' the first priority in your life. Look for roots of emotional abuse.

2) Go through your early relationships. Tell yourself that you're an adult now, in charge of your life. Invest your time in disconnecting from the emotions that have been eating you alive.

3) Cultivate whatever needs to be developed in yourself, i.e., fill in gaps that have made you feel undeserving or bad about yourself.

4) Learn to stop managing and controlling others; by being more focused on your own needs; you will no longer need to seek security from others.

5) Develop your spiritual side, i.e., find out what brings you peace and serenity and commit some time, at least half an hour daily, to that endeavour.

6) Learn not to get hooked into bad relationships.

7) Find a support group of friends who understand the pressures you might be facing.

8) Consider getting professional help, if need arises.